Ridiculous Rumour Time; Redone Super Mario 64 and other N64 games for Wii U
No, that title isn’t misleading in the slightest. You see apparently (well at least according to prolific rumour monger and speculation author Paul Gale), Super Mario 64 and a selection of other Nintendo 64 games will be remade for the Wii U, complete with graphical updates and various other features. But it’s most likely a complete piece of crap, and the reasons for this are in the full article.
So why is it fake? Well…
For starters, this is Paul Gale we’re talking about. Remember him and his previous ‘tips’? No?
Well here’s a hint; he posted about a completely stupid, over the top rumour involving a Metroid and Stat Fox crossover a couple of years ago. He’s also posted about a Crash Bandicoot reboot (which never happened), a Wii U launching for 400 dollars with a Wii Sports 2 in May 2o12 and a bunch of stuff which isn’t really so much a set of rumours as is it is baseless speculation with no actual information given whatsoever.
So while I can’t say for certain it’s complete rubbish due to having no insider ‘sources’ or any concrete evidence, I’d say history supports the claim that it is. Indeed, every single ‘original’ idea from this guy’s mouth has turned out to be as accurate as the likes of Young Earth Creationism (aka not in the slightest) and his chances of getting things right seems to be about as ‘good’ as the daily horoscope, TV psychics and Micheal Pachter’s predictions (aka non existent).
But aside from this being likely another fabricated tale meant to draw people to someone’s completely useless and mostly inactive gaming site that nobody usually visits (isn’t it coincidental that after posts consisting of about 90% no comments, one comes up that’s almost readily designed to bring controversy and hits?), the rumour itself also has a lot wrong with it. Shall we see? Yeah why not…
First things first, have a look at those names. Isn’t it coincidental that he just ‘can’t’ reveal most of them? Yes it is, because it means that the most likely explanation is that he can’t be bothered to make up details for more games. Here’s his ‘list’:
- Super Mario 64
- ***** ***** **
- **** **** **
- **** *** **
- ********** **
- ******* ****
- **** ************
Along with various starred out other games. Which I suspect might be the following:
- Super Mario 64
- Ridge Racer 64
- Star Fox 64
- Pilotwings 64 or Excitebike 64
- Pokémon Snap
- 1080° Snowboarding
This makes it even less likely to be true simply based on how obscure some of these games. I mean, Ridge Racer 64? Really? Because only that or the even less likely Stunt Race 64 fit in the space for the second item, so there’s no other possibility unless he’s going by fan made names or something. And most of the others just seem like the kind of obscure/lesser known (or in the case of Star Fox 64, already remade) titles that wouldn’t really sell a Wii U.
And then in the next paragraph he makes a pretty bold assertation that’s most likely completely incorrect; that it takes minimal time and effort to remake a Nintendo 64 with HD graphics.
You honestly think a game for a system about a hundred times weaker than the Wii U can be easily ported over to the Wii U like with a click of a button?
No it can’t. And this is supposedly a Wind Waker HD style graphical upgrade for each of these titles. He does know that game only worked because it used a fairly ‘timless’ art style, right? Because the models were ‘simple’ enough that they didn’t need to remake them to make the new textures look good when applied. That’s not the case in a Nintendo 64 games. The models were often blocky, somewhat minimal in terms of polygons used and looked kind of lego like. You just cannot apply HD textures to them as is without the effect looking more than a tad clunky and unrealistic:
See the above? That’s Mario 64 with HD graphics and no model changes. And while the odd bit looks decent enough (like many of the floors), things like enemies, backgrounds and other such parts of the game just look… kind of ugly to be honest. Why? Because the models weren’t redone. They’ve tried to apply Wii U quality textures to Nintendo 64 era models. To fix this you’d need to remake the actual core models to add more detail there, like in Mario 64 DS:
Which takes quite a bit more time and effort, and couldn’t be done in just a few months with a tiny team and minimal resources. The very premise of the rumour is hence unrealistic.
And then you’ve got to factor in this ‘additional content’ which is claimed to be present. Like it or not, the Wind Waker HD added more than a few new things to the original game, and the rumour itself claims that these other ‘remakes’ will add a similar amount of new content to the other games being remade. But hang on, doesn’t remaking the models and textures take a lot of time and effort? Yet now the rumour talks about extra content too? How is all this possible on a low budget with a small staff team that doesn’t take resources from new games in development?
Answer: It isn’t. The premise of the rumour goes from unrealistic to ‘pie in the sky’ fantasy. Oh, and more than one of these titles would have to be under development at the same time. Because as we all know, a company ‘struggling’ with HD development can easily devote resources to two games basically needing full blown remakes, one Mario Kart title, one Smash Bros, one Wii U Zelda and numerous other games all at the same time. Doesn’t that seem unlikely to anyone else?
But oh no, the rumour doesn’t stop there. In fact, it gives some details about ‘Super Mario 64 ReUmagined’ (yes he does call it that of all things), most of which seem incredibly unlikely. Shall we take a look? Here are the details:
– The classic Super Mario 64 in its entirety is being repainted and brought into HD.
– Two players can control Mario and Luigi, simultaneously.
– Option A gives player one, GamePad control and player two, any other controller option. The camera will follow the brothers as they move throughout the stage, but should they split apart too far, the GamePad user’s Lakitu (camera operator) will only follow that user on the controller’s screen, while the second player’s Lakitu will follow that character on the TV.
– Option B allows two GamePads to be used at once. If the brothers are nearby, the camera will remain the same on both GamePads and TV. If the brothers separate, each player will have his or her own unique camera view on their GamePad, until coming back together. While apart, however, the TV screen can be switched to be mimicking either player one or player two or be a top down perspective, map.
– Online cooperative/counter-cooperative gameplay is present.
– Race to Star, Coin Collector, and other similar modes have been added in to enhance re-playability.
So in other words, the article isn’t talking a mere HD port, it’s talking a ‘remade from the ground up’ version that supposedly overhauls absolutely everything. Which means in addition to just a coat of paint and some new HD stuff, the game is supposedly getting a full blown 2 player co-op system, online multiplayer and extra modes in the style of Super Mario 64 DS.
Above: You can’t add this in just a few months while also remaking all the graphics and adding new gameplay modes.
This isn’t even remotely likely to be real because of this stuff. You can’t just stick two player co-op and extra content in a Nintendo 64 game and port it to the Wii U in a matter of months. It’s just not plausible. It’s something I would come up with in a wishlist, not something that Nintendo would consider for development on a whim and have ready in a matter of months.
It also fails in that it forgets how Super Mario 64 has already got a perfectly good remake. You know, Super Mario 64 DS, that launch title the DS came with back in 2005 or so. Why not just port that over and fix the controls? It’d take less effort on Nintendo’s part than trying to remake a much older game that’d need the new models made from scratch and the new content added in the same way.
Above: Do people forget this game exists?
Additionally, even the concept of Nintendo remaking older games for the Wii U is becoming less likely given Wind Waker HD’s mediocre sales situation, and it’s because remakes in general do not sell anywhere near as much as new games do. Why would they put effort into a remade Nintendo 64 line up like this when the overall results on sales would likely be completely neglible and barely make up for the time and effort required? It just doesn’t make sense.
His defence of his track record doesn’t help either. Oh sure, he predicted a 3D Mario game for the Wii U that’d come out in 2013. How exactly is this something shocking or unbelievable? Many people likely predicted the exact same thing, and his article was ridiculously vague and gave no concrete information.
So all in all, I think this rumour is about as likely as the world ending within our current lifetimes. Or Elvis Presley returning as a major singer. Or Nintendo buying out Apple and creating iPhones that can play Nintendo titles. Just ignore it and its desperate attention seeking excuse of an author.