Opinion; Three Nintendo 3DS Games That Need to Be Patched (and what should have be done to fix them)
In this age of DLC, decent internet connectivity and other such things, you’d think patches for game breaking bugs would be more common. After all, you can actually deliver them to the customers now and take care of the issues that somehow slipped through the radar in development.
Unfortunately, Nintendo seems to have stopped bothering with them altogether. Indeed, ever since Mario Kart 7 was patched back in May 2012, it seems like Nintendo hasn’t really be doing a lot in regards to fix even worse issues that have popped up in the meantime, like those in Luigi’s Mansion Dark Moon and Mario & Luigi Dream Team. So here are three games for the 3DS that I think should be patched and what Nintendo should do to fix them.
3. Mario Kart 7; Yet More Glitch Shortcuts that slipped through the net…
The first game on the list is a game which actually got patched for similar issues the first time around, namely Mario Kart 7. But while Nintendo managed to fix the glitches in Wuhu Mountain Loop, Wuhu Island Loop and Bowser Castle 1 with a well timed patch/update a year or so ago, various other ones have cropped up in the meantime that need to be taken out as well. Like the Daisy Cruiser glitch…
The Neo Bowser City one…
The Luigi’s Mansion one…
and even stuff like the Koopa Cape one that’s been left there for nigh on two years now for no apparent reason…
So I think that someone at Nintendo needs to considering releasing yet another patch for this game, especially now that shortcuts and glitches are popping up all over the place and many of them are just as broken as any of the ones patched the first time around.
2. Mario & Luigi Dream Team; Gyro Control Issues
Another game Nintendo needs to release a patch for is Mario & Luigi Dream Team, to fix the gyro problems that can often make parts of the Zeekeeper and Giant Bowser battles completely unwinnable.
Above: At 10 minutes in or so, you can see the gyro control bug in action.
This shouldn’t be too difficult to be honest though. I mean, these bugs only occur in exactly two sections; the dimensional rift crossings from the Zeekeeper battle and the ‘repel the shell’ section from the giant Bowser one. So figuring out what exactly goes wrong here seems like something that could be done by simply playing these battles over and over in the Battle Ring and testing out different hypotheses as you go.
So they should just do that, figure out what causes the gyroscope to stop responding and fix it already. But that’s not all, they should also add two other minor things to the game via a update as well.
The first would be a ‘recalibrate gyroscope’ button (on the touch screen). This would turn the gyroscope off and on again, as well as try and set its position to neutral. That way, if things go pear shaped regardless of the patch, a player can try and reset the gyro mid battle to sort it out.
The other change would be a simple circle pad control scheme for all gyro controlled sections of the game. Giant Battles, Bros Attacks, you name it, the option would let you use the circle pad for them. This way, if people still have trouble with these sections and need an alternative, they can just use traditional controls like they’re using for the rest of the game and have no more issues.
So Nintendo needs to release a patch for Mario & Luigi Dream Team’s gyro glitches, full stop.
1. Luigi’s Mansion Dark Moon; The ScareScraper Needs Fixing Already
Finally, Luigi’s Mansion Dark Moon really needs a patch, if only to actually make the ScareScraper somewhat playable online.
Because no offence, but the current situation with the game’s multiplayer mode is a freaking joke. I mean, this is a year where certain other games can handle hundreds or thousands of people online without a hitch, where other big budget console multiplayer games let you have completely lag free matches with at least 4 times more people than are in a single ScareScraper party… and yet the lag and glitches in Dark Moon somehow affect the game far worse than any other multiplayer title in existence. It’s just ridiculous.
And yes, it’s a worse issue than the gyro controls one in Dream Team. Why? Because at least Dream Team’s broken gyro controls only affect two battles out of a 35 hour game that mostly works the way it’s meant to. Dark Moon’s ScareScraper glitches on the other hand make about 50% of the entire package unplayable at semi random. People fall through floors. Boss ghosts respawn/spawn when they’re not meant to, keys vanish into thin air without a trace… it makes me wonder what the heck’s going on in the game code.
Above: A normal day in Luigi’s Mansion 2’s multiplayer mode…
Oh, and you get randomly booted out the game after an almost random number of floors. Is this lag? Probably, but it’s caused problems in literally half of all ScareScraper matches I’ve ever played in, seen or heard people discussing. And no, saying the players have ‘bad’ internet connections or something else is ridiculous, given that the same people can play Mario Kart, Smash Bros, Call of Duty or even MMORPGs like Runescape and World of Warcraft online without any really technical errors so to speak of. Someone at Nintendo or Next Level games has just really, really messed up with the programming in this mode and a patch is urgently needed just to make it bearable again.
So what should be done? Well for starters, they NEED to find a fix for the infamous key glitch. No one knows why it occurs, but I think it’d be best if they started by eliminating the usual possibilities by setting the game to never generate a key in a fan, to never generate it inside the room that’s already locked and to generate one more key than there are locked doors on the floor as a back up in case something goes wrong. Oh, and maybe to do something with the keys if someone gets disconnected while holding one.
Maybe they can also make it so once a minute or so is left on the clock, all remaining doors get unlocked permanently. That would at least remove the possibility of players stumbling around like morons til the clock runs out. And it’d provide a nifty fallback in case a key doesn’t spawn for whatever reason.
As for the other stuff, that’s a bit harder to fix. Maybe for one thing they should relying on player connections and have a few central servers that data is relayed too, which then attempt to restore lost connections as they occur. Peer to peer systems for multiplayer gaming = terrible idea.
Finally, Nintendo should just give in and hold a few days/weeks of open testing. As in, have an update add a button to the touch screen saying ‘report glitched session’ and then have it send things like all relevant data on player interactions, a full movie and pictures to a central server so each problem can be examined in detail. That way, if someone has a problem, they can say:
Well player 1 was in this room with this item and score, player 2 was here, this many ghosts were defeated and here’s a nice report showing what data was sent between both players. Oh hey, turns out this line of code wasn’t activated somehow and hence some data wasn’t sent properly. Best fix that.*
It’d be like how Mozilla Firefox has a crash report option that lets you send session information and stuff to the people working on the browser so they can figure out what caused the crash to begin with (and hopefully fix it in the next update). That’s what Nintendo should do with Luigi’s Mansion Dark Moon and bug patching.
And those are my thoughts on what 3DS games need to be patched. Do you agree with the list? Have any more somewhat broken 3DS titles you think should get a patch released for them? Post your thoughts in the comments or at Nintendo 3DS Community.com today!
* Example is completely fictional and shows complete lack of programming knowledge.